Confessions of a Working Mom

Holiday Weekends

2009-07-06T10:55:00.004-04:00

Long weekends for the last 2 years haven't been quite the same as pre-baby weekends where I could relax, visit friends, and generally be completely selfish until the alarm went off Monday morning. Of course that is all to be expected to change when baby makes three, but this weekend was the first holiday I can remember truly being as enjoyable as those lazy days. Max was an angel for the most part, daddy was helpful, we saw lots of friends, and took a trip to the city. I did not want to get up for work today, but I woke up happy realizing that life has truly become mine again. And maybe soon we will be talking about #2.

Quizzes

2009-04-13T10:07:00.003-04:00

I secretly love all the Facebook quizzes that have been going around as it is fun to look back on my life - books I've read, high school days, etc, and with a list of specific questions, memories I though I'd forgotten come back. However, my biggest problem with the quizzes is the constant updates on Facebook from a handful of people that take every quiz known to man and clog up the home pages of all their friends. I am pretty sure no one cares what color, movie, season, you are. NO ONE!

So, knowing I'm only bothering the few people that seek out my blog, here are the answers to my favorite quiz - mostly because I love to read. Feel free to recommend your favorite books as well!

100 booksThe BBC believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up?

I have read around 34 books on this list.

Instructions:1) Copy into a new note and put an X after those you have read.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen X
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien X
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling X
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee X
6 The Bible (all)
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell X
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott X
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (alot of them)
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier X
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien X
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger X
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger X
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald X
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams X
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck X 2
9 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll X
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame X
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis X
34 Emma - Jane Austen X
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis X
37 Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini X
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden X
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne X
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown X
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving X
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood X
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding X
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan 5
1 Life of Pi - Yann Martel X
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen X
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley X
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon X
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez X
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck X
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov X +
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt X
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold X
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding X
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville X
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens X
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce 76
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola X
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens X
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White X
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle X
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Toole
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare X
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl X
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo x

Chain Letters

2009-04-11T09:34:00.002-04:00

Max received his first chain letter today - a request for stickers to be mailed to the first person on the list and send the letter to 6 more friends, with the ultimate goal that you will get 36 packs of stickers in a few weeks. Seriously, WTF?!?!

As a pre-teen I used to get these letters all the time, and probably even sent a few out in my day, but I can't actually remember ever getting a single pack of stickers or whatever the game was for then. Not one single time! My mother used to tell me not to bother, but I was a determined 10 year old.

Now, Max isn't even two yet and he got his first chain letter. Seriously! The friend who had her 3 year old daughter actually participate is a good friend that I would not have expected to be taken by this nonsense (and I hope she doesn't read this blog, but if her name isn't Polly the odds are low). Because for my little rant, when I am struggling to balance a family, job, birthday party, holiday season, and all the rest, why would I want to take even an hour to retype this letter, add names to a list and mail it to 6 unsuspecting friends and endure their wrath at the end of the week.

Ok, rant over... but no, I will not do as the letter suggest and call the girls mommy and let her know I won't be participating because it wouldn't be fair for this girl to get less stickers. Sorry, bitchy moment!

My First Sedar

2009-04-08T12:04:00.002-04:00

With 48 hours notice, I am hosting my first sedar tomorrow night. Thankfully for me, there is far less pressure the second night of Passover, as everyone will have been to a Sedar the first night.

My mother (who's idea this last minute celebration was to begin with) will be providing the rotisserie chicken, as there is just no way I can make a turkey while working a full day tomorrow. However, with Passover comes a lot of traditional foods, some of which are just used for a small taste, after hours of prep time. So, this morning I bought the parsley, snagged the last shank bone from the butcher, boiled eggs, and made Charosetz (for the non-initiated it is a mix of walnuts, apples, wine and cinnamon, and serves as breakfast all week long for me!)

I am excited to use my sedar plate for the first time! It was an engagement gift from family friends, purchased for us 9 years ago. Since then, the mother has passed on. She was a dear friend of my in-laws and her son was a groomsman in our wedding. Tucked inside the box was a card she had sent with the gift that I must have kept as a reminder of who the gift was from. It brought tears to my eyes last night, and will remain with the plate when it is rewrapped for years to come.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow evening. And for as much as I might wish I could clone myself to get everything done between tonight's family gathering and having to work a full day tomorrow, being able to host a Jewish celebration with my family, really makes me proud. Glad that I do manage to balance everything in life, as best I can. And happy that we are instilling a sense of Judaism in Max at an early age. While next year won't be in Jerusalem, it very well might be at the Reissman's!

Passover and Easter

2009-04-06T20:07:00.007-04:00

Max went to his first Egg Hunt this weekend and had a blast, once he realized that picking up eggs and collecting them in a bucket (because we are jewish, duh) was the entire game!

The bunny, my friend Sheila, was quite frightening - not her fault. But as you can see Max did not enjoy that part as much as the chocolate collecting part. Of course he never got to eat any of the chocolate as mommy and daddy helped a little too much! Hey, Passover is coming up and we won't eat any good sweets for 8 days.

He ended the day with a rousing dance on the pagoda platform. I must note that it was not raining, but Max wouldn't leave the house without his raincoat, and I wasn't up for the battle.

And we ended the day with 25 readings of P is for Passover - Max now knows all his letters and can't point out a Kipah. It can be hard to teach Judaism when Easter is far more fun! But I want Max to understand all religions, so if an occassional chocolate bunny makes his way to our house, I'm okay with that!

Colgate Wisp

2009-04-06T10:08:00.003-04:00

Saw a press release this morning on this new product (no, I am not a paid blogger) and it looks like the answer to my dreams! It is a disposable, one use toothbrush, smaller than the average lipstick and you can see all about it HERE.

I can't tell you how often I've finished up a cup of coffee and wished I could go brush. Back in my smoking days I would suck on mints constantly, but they just never do the trick. Since having a baby, I hate to admit it, but there have been days I've just forgotten in a harried attempt to get everyone out the door on time.

This product seems to be priced reasonably and will avoid my former solution of carrying a small toothpaste in my bag. You can imagine the messes I've had!

Nap Time for Mommy

2009-04-03T09:00:00.003-04:00

5:30-6:15am wakeups for three weeks, after over a year of sleeping uptil 7:30-8! Seriously, not sure what to do here and open to all advice.

Eight Years

2009-03-31T10:03:00.002-04:00

Today is our eighth anniversary! I've now been married longer than I was in high school and college combined. I pointed this out to a friend of mine at work and she pointed out that when I got married in 2001, she was a sophmore in High School. That made me feel older than anything else.

Celebrations change once you have children, so instead of a romantic meal out with a bottle of wine, we will be having take out sushi and diet coke to celebrate! But I did get a day at the spa on Sunday, so who can complain.

No Go

2009-03-25T15:29:00.002-04:00

It breaks my heart when Max cries as I leave for work in the morning, but today instead of crying he said "No go Mommy" I know this too should break my heart, but I was just too excited that he was using a full sentence that I left the house smiling. Maybe I missed the point.

Bright Spot

2009-03-23T12:18:00.002-04:00

The octo-mom's plan all along was to collect welfare. Not as dumb as I thought; at least she had a plan.

TV Excitement

2009-01-06T19:42:00.002-05:00

One of the few things I hate about the holiday season is the lack of any new TV shows. I know, I should be out partying with friends and colleagues every night, but clearly with a 20 month old at home and wanting to watch our budgets, most people I know are still at home 5 out of 7 nights a week. And those nights are far more dull without trashy reality tv and soap opera like prime time dramas to obsess over. Yes, I could spend quality time making gourmet meals for Adam and I to enjoy with a bottle of wine, but really, at the end of a long work day, once Max is in bed, trashy tv is the way to go!

And with last nights combo of Gossip Girl and Momma's Boys, all is right in my world again!

Israel/Gaza

2009-01-05T16:15:00.002-05:00

I want to write about the conflict in Gaza, but have had trouble wrapping my head around all my thoughts right now, so I apologize for some disjointed thoughts.

I get so frustrated with US Media depicting this as a war between two countries, equally to blame and equally in defense of their own. That is not the case. Hamas bombed Israel for years while the Israeli Govt sat back and watched; taking the high road as the stronger, more powerful nation and wanting to avoid an all out war. We did this for seven years!

Well, when is it enough - apparantely right now! Israel was tired of watching its country be bombed, people dying (even just one death is too much) and the world telling Israel to be the better man and not react. Time is up and Israel decided to fight back. To protect their land. And I am fully behind their actions. Am I upset that Palestinian children have died - of course! What Jew wouldn't be devastated at the death of innocent children? But what other choice do we have? Can we let Hamas gain strenght and momentum until they demolish all of Israel? No.

And more importantly, what if Israel called up President Bush and told him not to bomb Iraq - let the Iraqi's fight among themselves. Would Bush have said "okay, your call!" No. Well than Israel, at the very least, deserves complete understanding from us - if not military aid to help stamp out terrorism. We should be united in this, not made to feel like Israel is the aggressor.

Fashion No-Show

2009-01-04T19:53:00.002-05:00

Friday night we stayed in and watched the end of Project Runway. I assume it was this season, but the more I thought about it, I have no idea if it was or wasn't. This is the second season of the show I've watched, and I really do love it. But because it is on Bravo, I don't see a million commercials for it, and with 8 million channels, it doesn't show up on the guide thingy unless i really look for it, so I never end up catching it on tv. Both seasons I've watched have been in marathon form. I've also done this with Top Chef, again, a mysterious season but the only one i've seen completely.

Marathon watching with a DVR is great fun for me, but a little less so for Adam. I usually get hooked on a marathon when I am home alone, with nothing else recorded. I start out by thinking I'll just watch one and before you know it I've watched three, gotten hooked and set the DVR for the rest, because of course I can't put life on hold to watch 18 straight hours of tv - no matter how reality fantastic it is! Then of course I end up with 12 more episodes that I am just dying to watch but Adam has not gotten into. Of course he spends the first two or three complaining that I am hooked to another show (this is a common problem of mine) and making me space out the episodes. However, by the last third of the show he is as hooked as I am, but still refusing to admit it. Subtly asking if I haven't had enough time to watch, it's okay with him that I watch one now. By finale night he's asking if so and so was always so annoying, and he wishes he could have seen so and so in the such and such challenge that they are talking about. And by the end, his opinion of who should win is as strong as mine (though he'd never admit in public that he actually watched it).

Oh, and for all you thinking it, but not wanting to burst my bubble, I have now realized i can set recordings in advance and never miss a first run episode again. I am doing this for the current Top Chef season.

New Years Resolutions

2009-01-02T09:50:00.003-05:00

1. Get in shape. So cliche, but this year I am starting out with a health conscious, not weight related goal. Joined Curves and signed a one year contract so I am on my way.
2. Spend more quality time with Max. I feel as if I'm pulled in a million directions as a working mom, and this year I vow to spend better time with Max if I can't spend more time.
3. Twitter. Really, learn more about new media and stay on top of the curve. Also, I am confident I can use it as an effective networking tool, but I'm not quite sure how to do that correctly.
4. Gossip less.
5. Stress less. I can't change the economy. I can't change my extended family. I want to work as hard as I can, but try not to worry about it all the time.

Here we go again...

2008-12-30T09:08:00.001-05:00

As I’ve mentioned many times before I started this blog as a place to vent. To whine a bit about the typical frustrations of trying to do it all – be a great mom, great wife and great employee, and of course I quickly came to the realization that I can’t be great at everything every day. The first thing to go of course, was the blog itself as it became too time consuming and as mommyhood got easier at around 9 months I found I didn’t need it quite so much.

However, I think the title of my blog lends itself to a work/life balance and when I was previously blogging, it was all about being a mom, with very few mentions of work. Now, as the economy falters, and my clients in the broadcast pr world are looking towards new media as a less expensive tool to reach consumers, I feel I’d be well served to start really using all these tools as much as I can. I’ve begun tweeting when I can think of something to say, and have quickly found that most tweets point back to blogs, vlogs and the like, and that to tweet without a blog won’t get me very far. So here we go again, and hopefully by tomorrow I’ll have something a little more interesting to say.

First Birthday

2008-05-20T08:18:00.002-04:00

So, I must begin by apologizing for my extended blogging absense (though I'm not sure anyone is still reading my blog to apologize to!)

Max turned one a couple weeks back. We had the traditional family birthday, cake eating fun. But more importantly it made me take time to look back on the year and how far we'd come as a family. I started this blog as a way to blow off steam, vent about typical new mommy stresses, and get advice (and sympathy) from other new moms. A year later I realize I haven't written in months, and thought about why. It's because I made it through. I'm happy, Max is happy, and there is not much to write about on daily basis. (Oh, I could probably fill in pages on work stresses, but that isn't quite as relevant, or the stresses I needed help dealing with). Someone once told me that the first 12 weeks are the worst. Then it gets easier and easier until 9/10 months until it starts getting fun! They were so right, but I was so busy enjoying mommyhood, that I forgot how much easier it had gotten. I can barely remember the sleepless nights and panic attacks over feeding schedules.

However, I do want to get back to blogging, so feel free to share any ideas on what I should write about.

Ear tubes

2008-02-06T15:31:00.000-05:00

Went to the pediatrician with Max and he has yet another ear infection. It seems that every time he gets a cold it is unable to clear up on its own and turns into an infection. As such, we need to see a specialist and have tubes put in. I've heard it is a relatively minor procedure and although Max will need to be under, it only takes a few minutes. I'm still quite nervous and would love to hear if any of you have been through this.

The Celebration

2008-01-29T19:23:00.000-05:00

To my mother and the three other people that occassionally read my blog, I apologize for my neglect. Really, there just hasn't been anything overly stressful going on that I needed to bitch about and I couldn't think of anything funny to talk about. Work has been busy, Max is starting to get more mobile (not quite crawling, but rolling and rotating to get wherever he wants to go) so I've had my hands full.

So, tonight I do have a funny, yet bitchy, story to share. I recently joined weight watchers - it's been 8 1/2 months since Max was born and my hormonal weight related mess doesn't seem to be working itself out without my help. Oh, and I think the morning runs to starbucks for lattes and apple fritters might have been a problem as well.

Anyway, I joined last week and today was my second meeting. I was so happy about my 4.8lb loss that I was secretly beginning to think that I can do this! (Shhh, don't tell anyone). I get to the meeting part of the room and everyone is celebrating with boas and noisemakers. Not sure if this is normal, I asked the leader what the party was for. She said that Sarah (a woman around my age dressed nicely, but sporting a crown for the occassion) had made Lifetime. Basically, she reached her goal and maintained it for 4 weeks. The leader had her come to the front and give us all inspiring tips on her journey and how she accomplished such an unbelievable goal (as most of us never will make it). At the end of her little talk I raised my hand and aske her how much she lost... and she replied, very proudly and withotu any laughter I must say, 8lb! I thought she must have said 80, but no, it was 8lb. Now, I don't belittle anyone doing something to feel better about themselves, but come on - a freakin party for 8lb?!?! Is that really an amount you need to join weightwatchers for? Did she really think she was overweight before she lost the 8lb?

I really couldn't stop myself from laughing aloud... I think I will need to find another day for my meetings now.

Do you vote?

2007-11-30T16:14:00.001-05:00

I rarely get political, but one of the things that has always bugged me is that we spend countless hours bitching about politicians and things we hate in our town/state/country (g-d knows there is enough to bitch about in NJ). But, we rarely do anything about it. I'm usually not the activist type, but a colleague of mine passed along this widget (that looks so pretty on the left side of my blog under Max's smiling face). I was hoping I could talk a couple of you into posting it as well and maybe we can increase the number of smart, savvy, working moms that get out and vote this year!

Go to www.wvwv.org/widget/banner and choose your favorite widget for your site - there are quite a few to chose from.

Thanks!!

Looking Forward to Thanksgiving!

2007-11-23T17:22:00.000-05:00

I know for most of you Turkey day has come and gone, but my family decided to postpone the celebration for a couple of days. In addition to my visit to the hospital on Monday and Max's ongoing tummy troubles, my mother came down with a rather high fever for a couple of days. So, she called up my grandmother (who complained about the change in plans) and my Aunt to move thanksgiving back until she could actually stand in the kitchen long enough to cook!

I'm very excited for this change in plans, primarily because I will actually be able to eat turkey - where as yesterday I was still too ill. It also means my stuffing will not go to waste. Since I spent Wednesday night cooking it, even though the smell almost sent me over the edge again, I would have been so bummed if it didn't get shared. And Max "made" a thanksgiving place mat at daycare that I am super excited to use. It's very cute, and even if his lovely teachers did all the work, I can still imagine the fun he had with the feathers that make the turkey tails.

Oh, and Thanksgiving on Saturday means no football - which is actually a good thing. No one in my family watches football, so I always have to miss the thanksgiving games. But this year, as I sat home alone, I watched both the 12:30 and 4pm games!

The only downside to the change in plans is that my brother and cousins are not coming to dinner. My brother, who doesn't speak to my grandmother anyway and has never been a big fan of extended family dinners, isn't too upset over the change and I speak to him often enough. My cousins and I barely speak - mostly because I don't think they speak much at all, though I try to talk to them (and g-d knows I talk enough for 2 people). But their absense upsets my grandmother who will complain all night long about plans being changed and no one thought of them when doing so... of course if they got sick when they were expected to cook, of course we would have changed the meal then as well. Hey, it wouldn't be a proper family meal if there wasn't some sort of drama, now would it?

Guilt

2007-11-21T17:20:00.000-05:00

I feel guilty that Max is sick with a stomach virus. Firstly because he is in daycare, which I rationally know is the best possible place for him and us as a family and second because I was sick just a few days ago, and am still suffering from the lingering virus, and feel I must have passed it on to him.

Of course I know he had been suffering for a few days before I got sick, and in all likeliness I caught it from him, but that doesn't help with the guilt. So, in typical irrational, guilt ridden fashion, I feel guilty that he was probably sick for a few days before we realized it was a virus. He was throwing up after gagging on food, but I assumed since he was taking his bottles that he had a throat irritation and I'd discuss it with the doctor on Friday. Clearly now I realize I was wrong, and for a new mom there are probably much worse things I could have misjudged, but I still feel guilty. Add to that a trip to visit relatives that are now all complaining of similar symptoms and my guilt is doubled. What if I had been more cautious or read the babies signals a little better?

I also feel guilty when I want time away from Max. I mean I work all week and only really have the weekends to spend with him. Yet, I often wish I could leave him for an hour or so on weekends to read a book, take a nap, visit with a friend without having to focus my energy on Max. I know all these desires are normal, yet since I'm already at work all day, I feel terribly guilty for having them when i do get a few precious hours with my adorable baby. I feel like I shouldn't have these feelings because I get far more adult time than stay at home moms.

And onto work - which used to be a source of almost all the tension in my life, before I switch jobs and had a baby - the first taking away a lot of the stress I used to have with work and the latter making me set my priorities a bit better. Well, all this illness has led to me taking an extra day off of work. I had planned on 2 days of vacation anyway this week, but ended up with three. So, of course I feel guilty about passing off my work on a co-worker. Nevermind that she has not complained about covering for me, and I cover for her on all of her vacation and sick days. But I can't escape the feeling that I should be doing more, and probably would be if I wasn't a working mom. And of course I feel the same at home.

Do all working mother's feel this overwhelming sense of guilt in their lives? And if so, how do you learn to cope with the guilt a little better than I am doing today?

Home Sick

2007-11-20T13:32:00.000-05:00

So, I decided to take a few vacation days this week, as it is a short week already. At first I planned to take the entire week off but due to a project at work, I decided to go in Monday and take Tuesday and Wednesday as totally "me" days. Spend some time with Max, sleep, read, shop, and maybe even go to a movie. These were not days to run around doing errands, or catch up on household tasks.

Well, as usual, the best laid plans are not meant to work out. Went to bed sunday night as normal, after being out on Long Island all day for a family party. Woke up sick at midnight and went back to sleep. Woke up at 6, expecting to go to work and realized that i was still quite sick. At 1:45pm, a friend came over with some anti-vomiting medication and 30 minutes later I collapsed on the floor of my family room and barely managed to call 911. I had never felt so sick in my entire life!

Today I am back home and feeling a lot better (though still naseaus and light headed as I haven't eaten in 48 hours and HATE gatorade). My clients continue to email me and i really can't handle working at the moment. And I'm the kinda person who can work all the time and often ends up doing so on vacation, but today i need a break!!

I hope to feel better enought tomorrow to have a cup of coffee... that in itself might salvage my relaxing vacation day. Until then, I am off for another nap, and ultimately happy that i had 5 minutes to post.

A Belated Halloween

2007-11-10T15:30:00.001-05:00

Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year. Mostly because it doubles as my birthday, but over indulging on chocolate and other sweets is also a big plus! After having costume birthday parties for the first 29 years of my life, my husband made me promise to have a costume free 30th birthday for the first time. The new trend stuck through my 31st birthday, but for my 32nd I had someone new to dress up and boy, was that fun!

It almost made up for the fact that I had to go to Chicago on business on Halloween afternoon. Had a great dinner with a friend/colleague from Atlanta who I don't see very often, but it was super hard to be away from Max and Adam for my first birthday as a mom. Anyway, it's 10 days later, so enough of the bitch fest and time for the pictures!!

First we had a party the week before, where Max was a Tootsie Roll. However the costume wasn't so comfortable, so all the pictures where he has the hood on and the full, stretched out costume, also have pouted faces and he seems quite pissy with me. So, on Halloween morning, for his daycare parade, we switched to the Rooster costume which he very much preferred. In fact it was so hard to chose my favorite picture to share.

Oh, and since this is the first (and probably last) picture of myself I am sharing, I wanted to point out how much we look alike now that he is getting a little bigger.

Making a Bad Day Better

2007-10-25T18:25:00.000-04:00

Work has been terrible and Max was sent home from daycare with a fever for the very first time on Monday. We kept him home Tuesday, brought him back Wednesday and by mid day the fever was back. Adam had to collect him again, and I had to watch him again today. My mother came for most of the day when I was home with him so I could get some work done, but that has just added to my stress.

I decided to take a much needed break this afternoon and spend time with Max to get away from work. While playing, I noticed he was sitting up on his own for the first time!! So, I thought I'd honor the occassion by finally taking some new pictures. And of course once I took the pictures, I couldn't wait to email them around and show him off. Didn't want all my blog friends to be left out, so here is Max at 5 1/2 months.

Look at that balance!

And he is finally learning to enjoy the water - so I thought I'd share bathtime.

A Bit About Becca

2007-10-23T14:56:00.000-04:00

Meme I took from Kellan -Questions & Answers

I realized I post about Max and Adam, and silly things that bug me, but very little about me, so I thought I'd do this Meme for all of you that want to get to know me a bit better.

4 Jobs you've had:

1. Been at my current company for over 10 years (since college) first as a PA, then Manager of Operations and now Director of Client Services
2. fX Network - Internship
3. Waitress
4. Day Camp Counselor

4 Movies I could watch over and over:

1. An American President
2. Dirty Dancing
3. Bring it On
4. Shawshank Redemption

4 TV shows I watch:

1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Dirty Sexy Money
3. The Office
4. SVU

(4 is not enough! I'm a TV addict)

4 Places I've lived:

1. New Jersey

2. Boston

3. New York City

4. Back to NJ

4 Favorite foods

1. Chocolate bread pudding
2. Noodel kugel
3. lobster
4. peanut butter

4 Favorite colors:

1- Pink
2- Sage Green
3- Purple
4- Blue

4 Places I'd love to be right now

1. London

2. Paris

3. On a Beach

4. Napping

4 Names I love but could/would not use for my children:

1. Corey
2. Marc
3. Emily
4. Alex

A Prize I'm Not too Excited to Win...

2007-10-23T12:50:00.000-04:00

My 86 year old grandmother received a letter in the mail last week with a headline that said;

WIN

A PRE-PAID CREMATION

Complete all of the reply slip information

and you will be eligible for a drawing each moth.

August 2007 Winner

Dr. Celeste K. Hammock

It goes on to explain why cremation is a more cost effective alternative to burials. She was so amused that she mailed it to me, as she often does. I don't know about you, but I'd rather win a prize that I'd be alive to enjoy!

My Facebook Dilemna

2007-10-18T19:59:00.000-04:00

I love Facebook! I started there "passing notes" to my coworkers that sit 3 feet away from me on our walls, but quickly found I could reconnect with old friends from high school and college that I hadn't spoken to in over 10 years (Gosh, has it really been 10 years since college?) It's an easy way to touch base with no obligation to update each other on the last 10 years.

I also use it to "have drinks" with friends in the city that I haven't had time to see since Max was born. A poor substitute, but a way to let people know I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. And now my latest facebook activity is playing scrabble with my brother (I lead the series 3-1 and won't let him forget it).

But it does make me wonder, how hard would it be for us to get together and play a real board game, in the same room at the same time? We live 20 minutes apart and have been great friends ever since we stopped living under the same roof, but recently only see each other once a month, and usually because he wants to visit with Max, not me. Are we all so wrapped up in our busy lives, packing so many more activities into a day than we can reasonably do, that we've taken short cuts like facebook to keep up relationships and play games? It sure takes a lot less time to make one scrabble move a day than 2 hours playing one game. As a result, are those relationships improving with constant little contact since being a new mom and working full time makes it impossible to keep up with everyone, or are they suffering because nothing but Max (and sometimes Adam) gets my full attention?

I'm not really sure... Just something to think about.

Things I am Happy About!

2007-10-17T20:16:00.000-04:00

I, like many others, spend so much time blogging about things that bug me. So I wanted to take today and write only about things that make me happy... I stole this idea from Skittle, but it was such a great idea, I had no choice! Thanks Skittle.

1. I have a wonderful husband whom I love more than anything!

2. I have the most beautiful baby boy!

3. I have a great family - they might make me crazy, but I love them all.

4. We are lucky to have 4 grandparents, who in their 80s can't get enough of their great grandson!

5. Work is going very well, and I've learned that even though being a mom is so important to me, I also love to work.

6. I have tons of great friends - some from elementary school, high school, and my 10 years living in NYC, as well as new friends out in the suburbs.

7. I love to travel and have been lucky enough to visit so many great places. I also have 2 trips planned for 2008 that I am already looking forward to.

8. I signed a big contract with a new celebrity client and I did it all on my own! November is looking to be my busiest month at work yet!

9. It's October which means the new TV season has begun and I am hooked on a couple of new shows already - and am so happy to have my old favorites back!

10. Max is sleeping 12 hours a night, every night!! What more do I need to be happy?

Fantasy Football

2007-10-02T08:53:00.000-04:00

So, I joined a fantasy football league this year for the first time, and I love it. I think it appeals to both the gambler in me, and the football fan. It's an all girls league, so our combined knowledge of football in general, and fantasy specifically, is not the best it could be (aside from our commissioner and a couple other players. (After the first sunday games, one girl suggested we get together every Sunday, and another responded "There are games every sunday?" I kid you not!)

So, between the teams that didn't understand the bye week concept, and those drafting players that retired last season, I am a bit concerned that I am 1 and 3. I have a pretty good handle on how it all works, but my team keeps getting injured and i drop and add players each week instead of giving them a chance to get into the groove. However, I'm not really familiar with the players, aside from those on the Pats (yes, I know, I'm the only Pats fan in the state of NJ), and that leaves me to rely on statistics and research instead of a more well rounded knowledge of the teams, players, etc - in this area, a couple of co-workers have been helping me out, but clearly none of it is working.

Anyway, to the point of my post, i did find the first major problem with fantasy football. Last night, after a very early morning with Max, and a stressful day at work, I fell asleep before the pats game ended. So, first thing this morning I logged on to see how my team did (lost again) and then went about my morning. I didn't however, even think to check to see how the Pats did! I was too concerned with my fantasy teams successes, that i didn't even think about my real teams success! Next week, I promise to cheer for the Pats, regardless of which of my fantasy players is playing against them!

Computer troubles - Why Vista?

2007-09-20T09:35:00.001-04:00

I apologize to all of my readers (Happy Working Mom) who noticed my recent absence. My computer died last week and Adam ran out to get me a new one that very day - seriously, I can not live with out a computer, primarily because I work from home 2 days a week, but also because I love this blog, and i live on email. So, 4 hours after one dying, I had a brand new computer... unfortunately, I still couldn't log into blogger until today.

Have you seen the mac commercials where the PC guy is asked allow or don't allow before every command? Well, that is not an exaggeration. Vista is so darn security conscious it almost totally negates the high speed of the computer when i spend so much time "allowing" things to happen. I must say, I am mighty dissappointed... so far I see no improvement over windows (which was a great system overall). If anything it is far more cumbersome to navigate. I had to ask a colleague how to restart the computer with out doing a hard reboot. Now I'm not a computer genius, but I'm a fairly bright girl who has been using computers since I was a kid. So, to spend half an hour looking for the restart/shutdown button because it is so cleverly hidden from the user, is just an unneccessary waste of time. I eventually gave up and tried to take the battery out, but the release tab won't work - though I suspect that is a function of HP and not Vista.

So, after a week and a half of the new computer, today i finally figured out how to get past the security features that were blocking blogger and of course my first post had to be a rant against Vista.

A time for reflection

2007-09-11T19:30:00.000-04:00

The Jewish holidays begin tomorrow evening, and I am excited for Max to celebrate for the first time. I bought him a super cute button down shirt to wear to synagogue on Thursday and we had portraits taken (see Sears below) to share with all of our relatives this season.

I originally wrote this post with a bit of my usually venting, but I thought as the holidays follow 9/11 by just one day, I want to avoid the pettiness, and instead, use this time for a bit of reflection.

Every morning that I commute to NY (Monday, Wednesday and Friday) I take the train from Westfield to Newark and switch to the Path train that takes me right to the site of the World Trade Center. This is a new development, as back in 2001 my office was midtown, and we just moved to lower Manhattan this past April. The first time I took the Path to the new office, I started to cry as we pulled into the station. In years past, before 9/11, the station was just like any other subway station and you pulled in underground and never saw the light of day until you exited the station. However, now the train pulls into daylight right into the construction pit, roughtly three stories underground. I'm sure you've all seen the images on tv, but when you pull into the station it feels like you are travelling through a grave. The train track bends and rounds a corner into the station and riders can see the work being done and the hectic barroness of the site. It still makes me shiver every single morning.

I then walk out of the pit, through the never ending construction sites, and past the stock exchange to work each day. Not a day goes by that I don't think about how it could easily happen again. Wall Street is always on a terrorist threat list of one kind or another, and the security guards surrounding the site are a constant reminder of the danger. One morning I was walking with a co-worker and we saw an open, pink pocketbook left on a DHL delivery basket. Being lower manhattan, and the constant awareness that we all have for potential danger, I pointed it out to the nearest cop (there were 10 within eye shot). Within seconds there was a swarm of activity around this bag. No one is taking any chances.

I lived in NY for 10 years before moving back to NJ and 9/11 is part of who we are as New Yorkers as much as it is who we are as Americans. I was lucky to be out of the city on 9/11, and even luckier to be on an airplane that was not one of the targeted flights. I was on my way to Nashville, TN for a conference, after having been in DC the day before. Getting through to my family took hours in which all sorts of thoughts ran through my mother's mind. I think I terrified her more that day than any other. Adam had my flight plans and was a little less worried about me, but as he was working in Rockefeller Center at the time, in another highrise, I was anxious to hear his voice. His building was evacuated but he didn't want to leave until he'd gotten in touch with me, but with cell phones not working, he didn't have a choice.

All I kept thinking of, through all the fear and anxiety, was a conversation I had the day before. I'd been in DC and it started raining. Not knowing whether flights would leave on schedule or not, my coworker and I decided to take the train back to NY. She was more frustrated about this than I was and complained a bit about the inconvenience and at one point I said to her "At least I got stuck without a flight today. I'd hate to be in Nashville tomorrow without a flight home!" Well, of course that is exactly what happened, and I spent all of 9/12 in a car with my boss at the time and the owner of our company, driving back to NY. The previous days conversation seemed ironic, but what hit me more, was how upset we were without a flight from DC and how thankful I was to be alive, even if it meant 19 hours driving home from Nashville.

And just after midnight, on September 13th, we drove up the NJ turnkpike to see a site I will never forget... a NYC skyline that I'd never seen before! And I never loved my city as much as I did at that moment.

It's a Small World After All

2007-09-06T20:37:00.000-04:00

So, today I found an old press release with my contact info still available on google (I work in Broadcast PR and was the contact on hundreds in my former position) when I was looking to see if my blog made it to googleland. So, I decided to see if any of the old press releases done with my maiden name are still floating in cyber space (I couldn't give you a single reason why I care, but I do this every so often). Anyway, what I found was far more surprising, and really got me thinking about life.

I found a message board/ online journal kept by a few former college classmates that I knew through the theater group I worked in. First off, this is such a random part of my life as I can't imagine my 31 year old self wanting to be on stage, or involved in theater at all (though in high school i did a bit of theater, I have absolutely no talent!) I think a lot of it had to do with the friends I made my first week of school; friends I later realized I had very little in common with other than living a couple of doors apart. But at 17, insecure and scared of not having friends, I spent a year with them, and ended up getting involved in the theater clubs. By the end of sophmore year, I had made an entirely new group of friends, and though I don't keep in touch with many of them now, they are certainly the people I think of when I reminisce about those days. In fact, I hadn't thought about the freshman friends until today when I googled my maiden name.

So, to the point of my story! The journal I found was a story about a show I produced first semester sophmore year - Godspell (ironic for the Jewish girl at the primarily Jewish school, but it is a great show!). All the names were user names from this group they must all participate in, so it was a bit hard to decipher who was who, but I believe the entry was written by the musical director. The comments then were a back and forth between a few members of the cast and crew, and the conversation took a turn to the day the director slapped me. For what, I have no idea - all I can remember is that I really didn't like him and I thought he was fairly mean. The consensus among the group of chatters is that this event was hysterical and that they were all glad to see it done. One guy relates a story of touching base with me years later and attending my wedding and doesn't take part in the Becca Bashing, but other than that, I am the clear loser of the game.

So, I had to laugh. First that 13 years later they can still have such negative thoughts about me... maybe i deserved to be slapped, I can certainly be opinionated, and if I remember correctly, I was not fond of the production team of this show - all overly dramatic, artsy kind of people. Though, I was close with most of the cast, and I don't believe they are responsible for most of the posts, I can't be sure who is who. Secondly, the girl to start the Becca Bashing was the girl I met first day freshman year who brought me into this group. I remember her being extremely strong willed, abrasive, and not overly popular with the group of people bashing me, so I was amused to see that they all keep in touch and she seems to have become a ring leader.

Most of all, I had to laugh because I would never have remembered the event having not read this today. If someone had asked me if I'd ever been slapped, I would have said no (aside from by my mother)... that is how obscure the story was to me. But 5 years ago a story like this would have upset me for days, thinking about how I was disliked, even by a group I clearly disliked. Yet today, 13 years later, I can honestly say I don't care. I have a great career, fantastic husband and adorable baby boy.

I even posted on their message board something to the effect of remembering the incident and glad I could amuse them so many years later... I think I might shock a few people with that!

Confession #6: I Want a Holiday

2007-09-04T08:53:00.000-04:00

I used to love holiday weekends. I'd get so excited, starting on the monday before, knowing that I had a short work week. Then on Friday, I'd spend all day looking forward to going out and meeting up with some friends to kick start the weekend. I'd always stay up late that night, thereby prolonging the real start to the long weekend! Then saturday mornings I would sleep in until noon and spend the rest of the weekend divided between reading books, watching tv and long naps and going out to BBQs, parties and other fun activities.

This past weekend was my first long weekend since Max's birth, as I was on maternity leave for Memorial Day and Fourth of July. We did manage to host a fairly successful BBQ (would have been totally successful, but my friend's 14 month old daughter fell down a couple of deck steps and then choked on a snack which sent everyone into a panic. She was okay, but it really frightened her mother. It also showed me how much work we have to baby proof the house). And we did visit other friends for a Monday afternoon BBQ which was relaxing and quite enjoyable. Their daughter, who is almost 5, was quite excited to poke at Max, who responded with his silent giggles for over an hour! (Still trying to get him to make noise when he laughs, but the silent laughs are just adorable.)

However, the rest of the weekend, the part usually reserved for relaxing, was spent working, working and more working, taking care of all the things that we can't get to during the week with us both working 40-50 hours a week. I don't think I sat down for more than 2 minutes on Saturday, between laundry, grocery shopping, yard work, cooking, house cleaning, dry cleaning, home depot, etc. And that doesn't even take into consideration Max's care. I thought with all the work we did on Saturday, we'd be able to relax sunday before our guests arrived, but that was not to happen either. I love that I was able to host, but today, all I want to do is sleep and take a rest after vacation!

Am I that Transparent??

2007-09-04T07:14:00.000-04:00

So, I know I shouldn't be half as amused as I am by this guy, as I am since I am guilty of everything he says women do. The Tilapia story is a perfect example...and I always thought I was being so subtle with my husband.

Another Big Step For Me

2007-09-01T21:33:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is a big day for me, as I am entertaining for the first time since Max's arrival. I thought I'd start easy, with a BBQ since Adam can share in the cooking responsibilities and paper plates will not be a faux pas.

We kept the guest list to two other couples and their three children - 14 month old twins and a 22 month old boy. The husbands are Adam's two best friends from high school (one from elementary school). In fact, one of them introduced Adam and I. I've become good friends with their wives over the years, and both have been a huge support to me over the last four months, with all of their experience, and understanding as I was working through post partum depression (which I am happy to say seems a lot less symptomatic recently).

So, all in all this should be a relatively laid back afternoon and I've done a lot of the cooking and cleaning today. Overall, I'm just happy to feel put together enough to manage taking care of Max AND being a hostess at the same time... something I felt would never be possible again 3 months ago.

Maybe soon, I'll go back to hosting dinner parties for 12 again. Or then again, maybe not!

A Strange Conversation

2007-08-30T18:12:00.000-04:00

Max's daycare facility is closed this week which is so frustrating as they announced it to all the families before Max was going there, so after 5 weeks I had to find alternated daycare for a week. But, I'm over that and since we couldn't find backup for today, it is really nice to have a full day with him alone - first since my maternity leave.

Anyway, I was at Starbucks this morning - still having trouble breaking that habit. A woman with her 2 kids (6 and 9) was sitting at the next table, and despite having a book in hand, she proceeded to talk. I'm usually quite social, but this morning, I was tired and looking forward to a little downtime during Max's nap. Anyway, she said she couldn't believe I would take the baby out during his nap time... I explained that i normally don't but as he has been on antibiotics and a bit fussy from the medication, he seems to sleep better in the car seat and the car ride gets him into a deeper sleep. So, in order to get him more rested, I went out.

Well, this woman proceeds to tell me that it is impossible for a baby over 12 weeks of age to sleep in his car seat. Of course, I assumed she meant that it was not a good idea (which I had read in one of the sleep expert books, however I'm tired of people/books/grandmothers telling me what to do, and this seems to make Max happy, so I was making a consious effort at disregarding the books on this - a big step for me!)

Anyway, when i told her my thoughts on trying it anyway and that even though she disagrees, it does seem to work for us (as politely as possible - why do people have to give so much unsolicited advice in the first place), she continued to say that no, infact she really meant that it was impossible for him to sleep in his car seat and that he was infact not asleep - that he was wide awake with his eyes shut. I kid you not! I really didn't want to argue with her infront of her children, so I politely said "Thanks for the tip. I better run home so I can get him to sleep with his eyes open" and then proceded to talk to Max as if he was awake (sometimes even the crazies are scared of more crazy). In the end, I just really feel bad for her little kids.

Silly Move, Sears

2007-08-28T18:09:00.000-04:00

Max had his first portraits taken this weekend and he was such a good little baby throughout the entire process! Smiled for the first 3 poses, and then gave some adorable tired and bored looks that are just as priceless (at least to mommy!

Wasn't as thrilled with Sears as they took 4 or 5 shots of each pose, but decided which of each pose they liked best and only showed me those. I argued over one as I knew there had been a better one, but they would not show me all the pictures. Maybe they thought I'd take too long to decide, but how can they know which I think is the cutest picture. Also, they don't sell 4 x 6 prints, however most frames come in that size. Won't be going back to them!

However, on a silly move on their part, they put all the photos online for you to share with family and friends and ultimately spend hundreds of dollars ordering additional prints.
Or, you could do what I just did and upload to snapfish and order as many as you want at $.12 each - I was determined to get that 4 x 6! Unlike most photographers, they didn't stamp the proofs.

So, next time you want professional portraits, go to sears and get them done - order the minimum amount, and print the rest yourself.

The Middle Name Game

2007-08-24T20:29:00.000-04:00

Middle Name MeMe

This game came to me from Mandy. Here are the rules: You have to post these rules before you give the facts. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had. When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts. At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

My middle name is Lee - I guess I got off easy.

L is for Leslie because I wouldn't be who I am without my mother.
E is for Emma, one of my favorite books.
E is for Eczema because it plagues me and now my beautiful baby boy. Ughhhh!

And now for my tags - this is tough because I only read 3 blogs, and Mandy already tagged me - so for now, forgive my breaking the rules. I'd rather do that then tag a stranger who might not be so happy to play.

Happy Working Mom
Jen

In My Day...

2007-08-23T08:11:00.000-04:00

This morning, Max is up at 5am. Adam and I lay in bed praying for him to go back to sleep. After half an hour of fussing and whining, but not really crying, he does in fact fall back asleep. However, I'm completely up by this point. But, instead of getting up and starting on my long list of things to do today, I waste an hour lying in bed, trying to get back to sleep. Max reawakens at 6:40am - a great day for him, but wasted on the fact that I've been up for an hour and a half already.

So, the daily scramble to get everyone clean, fed, and ready for the day begins. Adam is practically out the door already - the one downside to having Max sleep a little later on days when I don't have to commute - and since I ran out of time last night, I still have to wash and make bottles. Well, an hour later I've gotten Max to daycare, a Venti non fat caramel Machiatto for me (I switched from Vanilla Lattes but can't seem to break my daily starbucks habit - this is proving to be as difficult as quitting smoking was!) and here I am at home blogging instead of tackling my To Do list.

Today I have a client lunch at noon, meaning clean clothes and makeup are a must. So much for one of the key advantages to working from home two days a week. Also have to get seating arrangements done and flowers picked up for the WWC dinner tonight - which I am so looking forward to! I love the monthly girls nights, even more so now that I'm a mommy. At 9am I have a lawn guy coming over to give me an estimate for getting rid of my weeds and maybe replacing them with a little grass - my lawn is in a very sorry state these days. I have a list of clients to touch base with this week, as well as two projects from Tuesday that need my attention in follow up. I would also like to do Max's laundry and clean up a bit for Adam since I'm going out tonight, but that will have to wait until the work day ends (of course I could be doing that now instead of blogging, but this is more relaxing).

Now, the reason for giving you all a rundown of my day - a phone conversation I had last night. My Grandmother thinks I am being a terrible mother by putting the baby in daycare instead of having him home with me.

"In my day mother's didn't work, Rebecca". I have explained this is a financial impossibility. But she thinks that if I insist on working, I should have Max home with me on the days I work from home. I'm pretty sure my employer would not love to hear that I was doing conference calls with a fussy baby in the background.

"In my day a wife had dinner on the table every night". Luckily Adam is perfectly content with frozen dinners, pizza, and the occassional home cooked meal. But seriously, I can't fathom how a working mom can get dinner on the table every single night. I try to cook on the nights I work from home as I can get the prep done before I pick up Max. But on nights when i first get home from the city at 7pm, spend 30 minutes with the baby, 30 minutes putting him to bed, and an hour doing the housework to get ready for the next day, if I even eat it is an accomplishment!

"In my day husbands didn't help out at all with the baby. Do you think your grandfather got up at 2 am to feed your father?" Well, to this I can only say, thank goodness I didn't raise my son in your day! Of course, by not working she probably had a few more hours in the day to do some of the house work, but even then I think it is important for everyone, including dad, that he be involved in all aspects of raising a baby - diaper changes, night feedings and all. Adam might not do as much as I do (mostly from my control freak nature than his lack of effort) but he is there every step of the way with me, and for that I am enourmously grateful to be so lucky!

Grandma also decided that I should always answer my phone, and was quite displeased to find out that if I have company over, or am spending my last few minutes of the day with Max, I don't answer calls. I should never have mentioned this, because now, when I don't answer, she calls back every few minutes until I call back- even if I'm really not home when she calls. Last night she said she had called that morning and where was I. Um, at work Grandma.

Luckily, Max's three other great grandparents are a lot less vocal in their opinions. Max is super lucky to have 4 living Great Grandparents and each have so much to offer - including the one discussed above - but I'm having a bit of trouble getting her to keep her very strong opinions on motherhood to herself until I have a chance to get things to work for us.

Short Little Rant

2007-08-20T19:45:00.000-04:00

Max has been sleeping so well that in order for us to get him up at 6:30am to get ready for daycare, he needs to go to sleep at 7:30pm. Unfortunately, this means when i get home at 7pm I have 30 minutes to play, bathtime and feed time, and it is not nearly enough! Tonight is Adam's turn for feeding, so I am done with my time with Max and getting a bit depressed about it. I'm thankful he is sleeping, and thankful for some quiet time with Adam, but I just wasn't ready for him to go from 10 to 11 hours of sleep so quickly, and i want that extra hour back!

Anyone else dealing with this, and what do you do?

A Few Reasons Why Mom Shouldn't Go on a Business Trip

2007-08-17T20:25:00.000-04:00

Disclaimer: Before you all read this list, know that Adam is a great father and husband, and being left alone with a 14 week old is never easy. He tried so hard to do as much as he could, and kept Max happy, which is all that really matters. But when I got home and saw some of the things Adam did and didn't do, I had to laugh.

1. Adam was too scared to cut Max's nails. I went to daycare Wednesday morning to visit Max, as I hadn't seen him since Saturday night. He had crusted over scratches all over his face and I asked E what happened. She said he had them Monday morning and when she asked Adam why he didn't cut the baby's nails, he responded "Becca does that. I'll just wait for her!"

2. Adam called me each night to check and see if it was okay to put Max to sleep. He also called to see if it was okay to feed him and okay to put him down for a nap.

3. He turned off the house AC in an attempt to keep the baby warm if the outside temp dropped. Explanations about how a thermostat works, making it entirely unneccessary to turn the system off, fell on deaf ears.

4. He reused one of the bath towels in order to avoid having to do laundry. In addition, there were only 3 dirty burp clothes in the laundry after 5 days - since Max spits up a lot, this frightens me a bit.

My New BFF

2007-08-15T17:28:00.000-04:00

Ok, maybe wishful thinking as I haven't met her, but Jen Lancaster, the author of Bitter is the New Black and Big City, Fat Ass, is just the person I'd want as a best friend. (Sorry, no offense to my closest girlfriends).

I read about her books on a blog (so sorry, can't remember which one) and it looked like my kind of book, so I ran to my favorite place in the world - Barnes and Noble and read her first book on my way to Minneapolis. By the time I got to the Mall of America, 10 hours after I left my house, I was done with the book and ready to buy her second! I'm almost finish with that one, and probably could have finished, but at 2am, when I finally landed back in NJ, I was too tired to focus on the words anymore. Her books aren't the best I've ever ready, but certainly the funniest.

Reasons why she should be my new BFF:

1. First time I've ever laughed out loud at a book so hard that I couldn't compose myself (and if I hadn't been sitting in between an 80 year old lady and a business man on the flight from Minneapolis to Chicago when this laughing fit happened, I wouldn't have even tried).

2. She can step back from her corporate job and realize how silly all the stress is - none of it is nearly as important as we think it is while living it.

3. Even though I called it Punch Buggie and made my own unspeakable trade offs (lets just say 50% of the cars on the road in Israel were VW beetles when i visited), we played the same silly games. Of course I was 16, not 36, but I love that she can still be as goofy as I was back then. I wish I could do that.

4. She has the same lack of patience for the stupid people of the world as I do. And while I'm vocal about it to my father and my husband, she's brave enough to tell the world.

5. I'm far less ashamed of my google stalker status as I was before reading this book.

My First, Post Delivery, Business Trip

2007-08-11T15:52:00.000-04:00

I am off to Minneapolis. I'll be there, on business, until Tuesday afternoon, and my flight back home doesn't land until after 1am Wednesday morning (darn those layovers). So, since Max will be asleep when I leave at 5am tomorrow and back asleep by the time I get home, I won't actually see him for 4 whole days! (First time I'm hoping for him to get up at 4am again)

I used to travel all the time for work, usually flying into a city in the late afternoon, doing an early morning shoot, and back home by dinner. I switch from producing to account management because we wanted to start a family and I was hoping for less travel, and for the most part, my new job involves very little. However, when I do go on a new business trip, it is for at least 2 days instead of the 24 hour round trips I used to make. I've known about this particular trip since February when I could no longer fly pregnant. When I was pregnant, I was ambivalent to the idea of traveling and when I was on maternity leave, I was ecstatic about the idea of sleeping in a hotel for two nights. But now, I am very on the fence.

On the one hand, I know that I will miss Max so much that it will hurt to be away from him. But I'm also scared that Ion the other hand I am looking forward to the freedom of being on my own for a couple of days. No obligations other than showing up at meetings. Freedom to wander the Mall of America (I know, very touristy, but I've always wanted to visit) and freedom to drink a couple of glasses of wine over dinner knowing I won't have to get up in the middle of the night.

Is it okay to feel this way?

Confession #5: I like to show off pictures of my beautiful baby

2007-08-08T14:42:00.000-04:00

I had to share a couple of recent photos that we took the other day. Have to remember to clean up the guest room when i know I am taking pictures as the sushi delivery menu and cordless phone don't really add much.

I'm Not Alone

2007-08-07T14:14:00.000-04:00

A and I took M to the mall on Sunday, so we could take him for a walk in the Baby Bjorn without fear of overheating and burning him. We were trying on shoes at Kenneth Cole and M was quietly taking it all in, giggling at the animal print benches and flirting with the sales girl. Such a lady killer at 3 months!

Anyway, a woman approached me and asked me how old M was. I told her and she proceeded to explain how she had a 3 week old at home and it was killing her, and she just had to know when it got easier, as M seemed so calm and easy. I could have hugged her! I told her how I had asked just about every woman with a baby in tow the same question when M was 3-6 weeks old, and how I felt exactly as she did.

As I left the store, it occurred to me that in all the time I was questioning young moms, I had not taken the time to reevaluate my feelings until that very moment. Everyone said the hardest part would be over at 12 weeks, and at that moment, I truly realized that they were right - and it had happened so gradually that I hadn't even noticed!

Are they serious?

2007-08-07T08:23:00.001-04:00

I'm a big fan of the Baby Einstein products. M loves his aquarium playmat, and can not get enough of the stuffed turtle that dangles above him. However, every picture is labeled in English, French and Spanish. Now, I'm doubting M will still be playing on the mat when he learns to read, but I'm positive he won't be learning a foreign language in the next 6 to 8 weeks!

A Bit of a Ramble

2007-07-31T19:49:00.001-04:00

Had a bad day, so forgive me a minute (or ten) of some venting. Of course, I'm not sure who I'm asking to forgive me, because as of yet, no one has actually read this blog to my knowledge. If you are out there reading this, please post a comment and say hi!

Ok, so on to my day... well, actually it starts last night. We decided to take the plunge and put Max in his crib for the night. E at daycare said he was napping just fine in his crib and had broken past the 40 minute limit. In addition, A was concerned that he was getting too cramped in the carseat, so we figured the timing was right. Well, for anyone out there, thinking the time is right, if it isn't a FRIDAY night, with a full weekend ahead, the time is NOT right!

So, we started off well - Max slept from 8:25pm-2:20am straight through without a peep. This is his standard middle of the night wakeup (sometimes to eat but usually he just falls back asleep) so we were encouraged by the progress. Unfortunately, we had not figured out a way to rock him back to sleep in the crib like we do with the car seat stroller set up. So, we let him cry for 5 minutes without rocking him to see what would happen and miracle of miracles, he fell back asleep... for 90 seconds. Got up, but by the time I made it to the door, he had stopped crying again. Got into bed and 3 minutes later he started crying again. Waited 2-3 minutes and he started crying again as soon as I got up. Well, to summarize the night, this went on until 5am when I finally fed him. Now, I know you are thinking that I should have fed him earlier and put him back to sleep - and if he cried straight through, after about 10 minutes I would have fed him. But because he would drift back to sleep for anywhere from 2-20 minutes, and then cry for only a couple, I kept thinking he would fall back asleep for the night (or atleast an hour). He had eaten more during the day, and hadn't had a feed before 4:45/5:45am for almost a week, so I thought he was just fussing.

I think I got a hint at what sleep training will be like, and I really hope we don't have to go there!

So, having been up since 2:20am (earlier if I'm being honest, because I was so excited that he was sleeping in his crib finally, that I kept waking up to make sure I didn't hear him yet) I was beyond exhausted. Went to take him to daycare and the street was closed. Not knowing the neighborhood that well, I drove to the next side street and realized I had to walk about 1/3 mile with the car seat (and of course I hadn't packed the stroller) to get to the day care center. I was so exhausted and frustrated that I actually started crying as I walked, to the point that I was near hysterical when I got to the center. At that point I put one foot in the street to cross over to the center, when a workman appeared out of nowhere (probably hiding from the crazy crying lady with an infant) to tell me I could not cross the street! He actually told me that he wanted me to walk 1/3 of a mile back to my car, drive around to another street and back up behind the center and walk another few blocks from that location to avoid making a footprint in the new pavement. Well, I laughed at him, that kind of hysterical, nervous breakdown kind of laugh and told him there was no way in hell I was going to do that and maybe a detour sign or two would have been nice. I then proceeded to cross the street, with the carrier in both arms so he would grab me to stop me. A few hours later I can laugh, but this certainly wasn't one of my prouder moments.

Okay, anyone who is actually reading this has stopped at this point, thinking I must be insane, but I'm sure most new working moms have had a meltdown or two - if you have, please share your stories - will certainly cheer me up!

Weekend Update

2007-07-29T16:10:00.000-04:00

For the first time since Max was born, we had a relatively normal weekend. Friday night I came home from work exhausted (nothing new) and Adam made us Mac and Cheese. I'd like to say that we never ate anything so unhealthy before having the baby, but that would be a lie. However, we'd been eating mostly delivery, and meals brought over by family, for the last 12 weeks, so as simple as Mac and Cheese is, it was nice to put together dinner ourselves. This was in fact the third such meal we'd prepared last week, so it was really beginning to feel like we were getting things together.

Saturday we went to a friend's second birthday. All the little toddlers loved Max, as they all seem to adore babies in general. When we left, a few asked "Where is Max going" and didn't understand the concept of little baby, lots of naps. But the party was fun and he had his first foray into a pool - granted it was one of those little pools you fill with a hose, and I only put his feet in the water, but he loved it all the same!

That evening we went to dinner downtown with my parents. The most impressive part of this was that instead of eating at 4:30pm while he napped, so we could be home to keep him awake for two hours before bedtime, we decided to try something new. We got to dinner at 7pm and gave him his bottle as we ordered. We then kept him up through the meal - where he was very well behaved and amused the other dinners. Luckily for us there were ceiling fans in the restaurant. After dinner Adam put him in the baby bjorn and we took a walk around town. He was cheery and pleasant all evening and we got home around 8:45pm, just in time for bed. We felt like we had a normal (albeit a little early and a little tamer) Saturday night. Hurrah to no more dinners at 4:3opm!! Next step is to be able to go a little further from home without fear that he will fall asleep in the car.

Today (sunday) we went to the mall. After he ate, we took him for a walk and let him enjoy the scenery. Still had to carry him, as the stroller puts him to sleep, but we are getting there. And now, as soon as I finish writing, I will start dinner, fold laundry, and get everything ready for tomorrow - without feeling overwhelmed. A very big step back towards sanity!

Now, if only he could sleep through the night, from 9-6am and life will really start to feel normal again.

Confession #4: I Cried this Morning

2007-07-26T11:10:00.000-04:00

For anyone who knows me, this is not a major revelation as I cry at just about everything. Look at me sideways and there are tears of anxiety. Yell at me and there are tears of anger. Help me out unexpectedly and there are tears of love. So, it should be no surprise that I cried this morning when I first left Max alone at the daycare center for his first day. However, instead of indulging those tears, I thought I would indulge myself with a list of reasons I hate daycare. Hopefully by next week I will feel better about everything and can write a list of all the reasons I love daycare, but in the meantime:

1. Guilt at having to work when I want to play

2. Guilt at knowing as much as I say I want to play, I also want to work

3. Max is spending his day with people who don't love him as much as I do

4. They don't have a playmat with over hanging toys for him to swat at (I think he is beginning to realize he is doing the swatting, but I can't be sure)

5. Fear that the change in schedule will upset his sleeping again (although last night, without daycare, he was up every hour after 1:30am just to cry for a few minutes)

6. One of the nannies didn't even ask my name when i asked hers

Confession #3: I Spend $4.12 a Day on Coffee

2007-07-24T16:44:00.000-04:00

That is over $1500 a year to Starbucks. It never bothered me tremendously before, when you look at it as $4 a day, but being a parent I've started to look at things a little differently. Now I see that if I cut it out of my daily routine, I would save $27,000 for Max's college education over the next 18 years, and that isn't even taking into consideration any interest I could make on the money.

But the true confession is that even knowing this, I'm not entirely sure I want to give up my daily Venti Iced Vanilla Latte. Maybe I will cut back to 3 days a week (the days I commute to NY) instead of 7 days. That's only $11,568 I'm taking away from his college fund. Or, maybe I should appeal to Starbucks to give out some college scholarships.

It Must Have Been a Dream

2007-07-19T13:17:00.001-04:00

As Max is intent on not repeating his full night of sleep, I am convinced that one night must have all been a dream. The last couple of nights have been some of his worst to date, although I have noticed he often takes a couple of small steps backward in any new development or skill a few days before he makes a giant leap forward, so I am cautiously optimistic that this is just his small steps back.

I started working yesterday and it was a very up and down day. I enjoyed going into the office, catching up with coworkers and clients, and just having some time away from the baby for a bit. However, everytime I glanced at the pictures on my desk, or thought about the fact that I would be doing this EVERY day now, I got teary eyed. I called my mother (who is helping out for the week before daycare starts) only twice, but when I heard Max whimpering in the background I felt guilty for not being there to comfort him.

On a positive note, as much as I missed him, I did not spend any time over analyzing his eating or sleeping habits. I didn't obsess over his sleeping in the car seat at all. I think being able to step away from him, and realizing I do have my own life as well as his, is very good for the neurotic part of me, as I was able to realize he is still eating and sleeping without my rigid plans. Now, starting daycare next week might open me up to a whole new set of neurosis, but I am going to focus on not letting that happen. Wish me luck!

Can We Put Those Sleepless Nights Behind Us?

2007-07-16T13:28:00.001-04:00

I know the experts consider “sleeping through the night” as 6 hours of sleep, and by that definition, many babies, including Max, are “sleeping through the night” at 8 weeks. But since Max goes to sleep at 8:30pm most nights, when he got up each night to feed at 2:30am, I wasn’t enjoying the full night’s sleep and therefore, in my mind, he was not sleeping through the night.

Well, all that changed as last night, for the 2nd night in a row, he broke through the 2:30am barrier and made it until 5:20am! (The night before was 4:45am which still qualifies as a night feeding to me.) I don’t want to jinx myself into more middle of the night wake ups, but as I am 48 hours away from my return to work, the timing could not be more perfect.

Confession #2: I Over Analyze EVERYTHING

2007-07-15T15:42:00.000-04:00

My husband has banned certain books from our house, namely The Dr. Weissbluth Sleep Book. (I can't remember the name of the book and I can't check my copy, as he went so far as to remove it from the house so I wouldn't read it anymore.) I'm sure the good doctor knows his stuff, and that the advice and theories he discusses are logical and scientifically sound, as are all the others. His was recommended to me, and so it was the one I purchased, but I've researched and skimmed through many more!

Unfortunately, reading these books make me even more crazy than I already am as a new mom. Am I ruining Max's future ability to trust by letting him cry for 10 minutes as the No-Cry experts would suggest. Or is napping in the car detrimental to the quality of sleep he is getting, as Dr. Weissbluth says. I can only get the baby to take a long nap if i take a car ride (otherwise we are stuck in a 45 minute rut in which he awakens cranky). Should he eat every 3 hours or every 4? On demand or by a schedule? Should we give him his last bottle at 8pm or 10pm? These questions, and endless others, about sleeping, eating, bath time and playtime are driving me to the edge, and taking away from the pure enjoyment of every smile Max makes!

My pediatrician says Max is doing great! He has no concerns over the fact that he will only sleep in his car seat and hates the crib. His solution is to transition him at 4 months and let him cry to sleep for a week if necessary. Reassurance like this should put me at ease, yet I still spend a considerable amount of time worrying about the week when we do the transition - as if anything would be solved by 7 more weeks of over analyzing it.

Writing this blog gives me another outlet to vent, as my husband needs a break from my stresses on top of his own. Unfortunately, I've never been much good at living in the moment, and not thinking 10 steps ahead of where I am. I'm hoping that motherhood will teach me that important skill so I don't miss out on each stage of babyhood while I wait for solutions to today's problems. As any mother knows - there will only be more.

Confession #1: I Can't Wait to Go Back to Work

2007-07-14T18:38:00.001-04:00

Ten weeks ago, if you told me I’d be eagerly anticipating hunting down new clients and managing difficult projects, I’d have said you were crazy. I love my job, however I always thought I would want to be a stay at home mom if given the chance. I knew it wasn’t a possibility before I got pregnant, but that didn’t stop me from occasionally lamenting the fact that after a few short weeks with the baby I’d have to go to work again.

That was all before I gave birth! I love my son, Max, more than I could have possibly imagined, and I don’t think anyone that knows me would doubt that. However, having every waking moment of my life tied to caring for another, is a lot more demanding than I had expected. I expected sleepless nights, crying for no apparent reason, and poopie diapers galore. But, for some unknown reason, I thought I’d be able to do all that and still meet my girlfriends for relaxing lunches, go shopping with my mother, or relax in the park with a book, all with Max in tow. Of course, I can do all those things, assuming he naps at precisely the time I’d like him to nap. It took about two weeks to realize that he didn’t read all the books I’ve read about infant care!

I love all the time I get to spend with him, but part of my selfish nature has me looking forward to going back to work next week. I’m excited to have quiet time to read a book on the train, and adult conversations with colleagues and clients. I’m excited to use my mind in a way that doesn’t involve calculating how long I need him to sleep in the middle of the night to get him on a good schedule the next morning. And most of all, I’m excited to count down the minutes until I get to see him again each evening.